pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
