Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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