Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
