I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
