fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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