Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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