Nicole vs. Life
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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