I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
he had hair everywhere except his balls
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize