There was a lot of him and a little penis
i dont even know how to be here
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Your cock deserves a montage
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
