Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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