I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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