First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
