that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
