You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize