My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
