So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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