i don't like sucking hair
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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