I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
