It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
