I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
ttyl tear gas
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
