this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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