You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
