On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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