hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
