Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
