her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize