I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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