And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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