i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
