this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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