the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
bring money and cleavage
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
