There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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