you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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