and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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