HIV tests are more positive than that guy
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
