How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
