There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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