your room smells of hookers.
And success
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
