We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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