There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
