party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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