I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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