do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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