Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
