I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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