If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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