I heard we made out
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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