sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
