yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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