We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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