And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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