I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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