I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
