we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
