it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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