she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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