you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Green mimosas i think yes
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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