Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
