There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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