Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
even my farts smell like vagina
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
