My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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