maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Randomize
