this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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