They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
